We've all been there - had a great first date, and an even better second one. There was chemistry, you had good chat, you could picture him holding his own at a family BBQ... Well, so you thought. But has it ever happened that the contact slowly fizzled out after the second date, and you were left confused and wondering what could have possibly gone wrong?
It's frustrating, isn't it? And most of us will encounter it a few times, especially if the men we're meeting are through dating sites. But what about if it happens repeatedly, and becomes a 'two date' trend? Is it really him being a bit of a tool, or is it getting harder to ignore the fact that it might just be something you're doing?
"If he's on a second date, then you know there's some level of interest there. If there wasn't, then he wouldn't bother showing up for the second time. Say a date is 4 hours - that's 8 hours of his life he's giving away so he's not going to do that unless he wants to.
First of all, where are you meeting these guys? If you've found them on dating apps, then remember chances are they're meeting up with more than one girl. It's easy to book in a couple of dates a week and keep seeing the 'easy' option. If he thinks you're hard work, or a slow burner, he might cut his losses after the second date. It sounds harsh but it happens a lot.
If that's not the case, then look into how you're acting on dates. You might be putting out some signals that could work against you - even if you don't realise you're doing it.
If it happens once, you can put it down to shit going on in his life, or him playing the field. But if you're dating different types of men and it's repeatedly happening that they're not interested in a third date, you have to question what the common denominator is. That's you.
So try to notice and cut out any bad habits you might be making. Do you talk over him? Monopolize the conversation? Does he get the impression you're uninterested? Do you talk too much about your job/mundane subjects?
Dates are meant to be fun and interesting. And in my opinion it's a man's job to be steering conversation in the right direction - onto interesting or 'flirty' subjects. But if that's not happening, try finding common ground on interests (travel, bucketlists, funny memories)- and no, not giving a play-by-play of getting your latest mid-term review results from work. That's not interesting to anyone, not even your boss.
The better the date is, the more you'll stick in his mind and the more likely be to hit your number up again."
So, if you've examined and tweaked your dating habits, made sure you aren't going for a same sort of 'unavailable' guy, and you're still lucking out after date two, then try quitting the apps and work on meeting more like-minded people (see: Not finding the right man? You're looking in the wrong places).
If you aren't on apps, then I apologise for that assumption, but I'm also 99% your 'man picker' isn't functioning so swimmingly. Grab a glass of wine and have a read of: Always going for unavailable men? There's a scientific reason why.
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