Wednesday, 6 September 2017

Always going for unavailable men? There's actually a scientific reason why

There's a reason why the Internet is awash with memes about falling for unavailable men. They're funny, and completely relatable - hence why there's so many of them knocking about. But, the underlying message to take from it is; an overwhelming number of us women are holding our hands up to ADMITTING we love unavailable or bad men. 
Do you ever watch some of your more adultier friends settle down with their 'best friend', and wonder why you keep fecking around with mr.unavailable, mr. midnight-caller and mr. 'I'm-just-not-ready-to-settle-down-right-now'? What must be wrong with you to keep going back for more heartbreak, more disappointment and more drama?

Well you can now take some pressure off yourself, because scientifically, it's something us women are programmed to do for a few reasons...

Reason number one: The pull of masculinity

Scientists have found that most women are attracted to men that look moody and powerful, and if you think about it, how many powerful and moody guys are really ready and available for long-term commitment (none, except perhaps Edward from Twilight.)?

Reason number two: The way our brains are wired

When you get good experiences from a man - like amazing sex, flattery or good attention - something called dopamine is released in your brain, and it causes us to link these men with pleasure (and actually our survival). So if you're getting these good experiences from him, then having them taken away - it's no wonder you're going back for more. You're basically hooked.

Reason number four: You could be reflecting your own self image

If you struggle with self confidence issues, anxiety, or you don't quite feel like you're deserving of a good man, then psychologists say it's common to latch on to inconsistent and unavailable men because that lack of self respect he has for you is matched by your own lack of respect for yourself.

Reason number three: The 'cuddle hormone

When women have sex, a hormone called oxytocin (the same one that bonds a mum and baby at birth) is released and it means we get an attachment to whoever it is sharing our bed - and it happens without you really realising. Because of this, it means it's actually pretty easy to get sucked into dockhand. 

There you have it - there really is an explanation as to why there's some sort of fuckboy epidemic going on. But, if you want out and you'd like to know a little more about HOW to avoid these men and go for a different type of man, head to: 'How can I stop falling for men who don't want commitment?'



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