It's become the new 'it' slogan on t-shirts. The new 'Bye Felicia'. The new dating advice to live by; don't text him.
Sounds lovely and simple, doesn't it? Straight and to the point. It also shows that women up and down the country are facing some difficulty ignoring unavailable and emotionally-draining men. It's become a bit of a community - bonded by mutual hope of maintaining self respect and the overwhelming urge to not to look like a complete tool.
The problem is, if this simple-sounding instruction was THAT easy to follow, we wouldn't all be needing it constantly repeated. And we definitely wouldn't all be buying those £19.99 marble phone cases with it scribbled on in rose gold writing.
So, put that twenty quid away and let's have a little chat about just when you need to use the 'don't text him' advice and put your phone the F down.
*These situations are based on the assumption that you're in the 'dating' stages of a relationship. If you want to know when to ignore your longterm boyfriend/husband - the answer is never. Keep on messaging that little pain in the ass with emojis until he replies (joking, sort of).
*These situations are based on the assumption that you're in the 'dating' stages of a relationship. If you want to know when to ignore your longterm boyfriend/husband - the answer is never. Keep on messaging that little pain in the ass with emojis until he replies (joking, sort of).
Situation 1: When he's ignored a previous message(s)
As tempting as it is to send a 'hi, u alive?' message, after previously sending one to no avail - hold fire. If you've sent him a nicely thought-out text, asking him a question, and he's chosen to ignore it - then leave it. He'll either get back when he's not caught up with work (if he has any sort of interest in you, and manners), or he just can't be bothered to talk - in which case, he neither deserves your time or your attention. Save it for someone else.Situation 2: When you're drunk and annoyed
At one stage in our lives, we've all got drunk and dodged our friends to make it to the safe confines of a toilet cubicle. Where, we proceed to get out our phones and drunkenly send a passive aggressive message to the guy we're seeing. Maybe he's cooled off contact, or maybe you feel he's being aloof - but, drunk with your skirt round your ankles is not the time or the place to type out an angry 'have a nice life' message. If you have something to say, say it sober, because waking up to 'text regret' is worse than the hangover itself.Situation 3: When he only messages you late at night
Does this guy go MIA during the days, then suddenly his name flashes up at 12.30am on a friday? This, my friend, is what we call a booty call. Which is fine, if that's what you're looking for from this guy (hey, I'm not to judge). But, if you hoped for something a little more with him, and he's only interested in you after a few drinks - then you're probably not at the top of his list of priorities (see: how to make him see you as a priority). And if his texts just ends in 'wanna come over? - go back to sleep. Eight hours of snooze will make you feel a whole load better in the morning than going round there when he clicks his arrogant little fingers (it also feels really satisfying to say no).Situation 4: When he goes absent then suddenly re-appears
This type of man is one of the most frustrating out there. They act all into you for a little while, then suddenly disappear off the face of the earth. When they do pop up again, weeks or months later, they act like nothing's happened. Annoying, isn't it? I like to call these men moles - like in whack-a-mole when those pesky feckers just keep popping up where and when you least expect it. So, treat them exactly like the game and whack them down when they do rear their heads (metaphorically, I'm not condoning attacking a man with a wooden mallet). Unless you want to be his 'backup girl', who he only gets in contact with when he's got nothing else going on (do you want to be that girl?), hit him with that metaphorical hammer and don't text him back.
The point here is, if it ended in heartbreak and deep down you know it will never work out between you two (probably due to the fact of him being such an asshole), then responding to his attempt to claw you back, is never a healthy idea. I've done it, we've all done it - and how satisfying does it feel to know that he wants you? But I can guarantee you, more often that not, it won't be in the way you want him to want you. You'll just be reopening a wound that took you time and effort to start to heal, so swerve the text and love yourself.
Situation 5: When he's broken your heart
I have to touch on this one, because it happens a lot. You were in a relationship with someone and he ended it for whatever reason - and broke your heart. Men have a nasty habit of sensing when you're just starting to heal and move on, and BAM that's when they hit you with a 'hey, how you been?'. Not all men, of course, there's a lot of decent ones out there that would have enough respect for you to stay away after a breakup - but if he is of the asshole nature, he'll probably get back in touch (more on this in will he get back in touch after a breakup?).The point here is, if it ended in heartbreak and deep down you know it will never work out between you two (probably due to the fact of him being such an asshole), then responding to his attempt to claw you back, is never a healthy idea. I've done it, we've all done it - and how satisfying does it feel to know that he wants you? But I can guarantee you, more often that not, it won't be in the way you want him to want you. You'll just be reopening a wound that took you time and effort to start to heal, so swerve the text and love yourself.
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