Let's face it, we aren't all natural-born chefs. And you probably won't turn into an overnight culinary sensation just because you've had the brilliant idea of asking the new guy you're dating over for a sexy meal at yours. But if you've committed to it, and he's accepted (fuck) - yet you have the kitchen skills of a small and clumsy child - then you're just going to have to own it.
So how are you going to master this situation, if you can't serve him up a bowl of granola or a microwaved flour tortilla filled with melted cheese (try it though, it's delicious)? Simple - you 'fook' (fake cook). You don't have to be Nigella here and it's actually really simple to fake being a master chef - you just need to know the tricks...
Think small, not big
People get put off by the enormity of the dinner ahead of them, because they tend to think 'big' - like, 'shit how do cook a chicken? Do I need to remove all the inside stuff first? Do they even HAVE inside stuff?' But unless you're a master of Sunday roasts, then you don't need to be doing this on your first home dinner date. Go manageable with minimum effort instead of getting stressed by a huge ass recipe. That means nothing that involves a pressure cooker, steaming or a blow torch. We're talking easy recipes with as few steps as possible. Like this one, for example (I have tried and tested it and it's always a success).
Have a fire alarm strategy ready
An overly-sensitive fire alarm has the key to ruin a good date, so sort that shit out in advance. Mine, for example, kicks up a fuss at even the smallest amount of STEAM (I kid you not), so I just switch it off while I'm cooking. If you think you might forget something is in the oven and you're likely to burn your house down, then maybe keep it on - but have a plan. By that I mean know how to turn it off because there is nothing less sexy than running around like a headless chicken trying to get it to stop wailing. Don't let it cock-block you.
Go for home-cooked vibes
One of my best friends came to me the other day in a panic, asking what the F she could cook for the guy she's been seeing. She showed me her meal plan and it involved a starter of scallops and a main of seared duck. I literally smacked her round the head with her BBC Good Food print-out. This isn't Masterchef, and you really don't need to pick the poshest sounding ingredients you can find. Limit it to ONE main course (you can get away with some nibble starters and a bought dessert) and make it something delicious - with 'home-made' vibes. You're ticking two boxes with that one; 1) less work for you yay, 2) and you're planting the seed of familiarity that he might link to growing up. It's a know fact men love their mother's cooking - and while you don't want to be their mother, it doesn't hurt to plant that homely seed.
Spend more time on the wine
You can save a meal with a good bottle of wine, so do a search on a good red (or a white) to match what you're making - especially if you know he loves his wine. Save the Echo Falls for your friday nights in with Dr Foster and get a good recommendation for a fancy adult wine that you can distract him with while you serve up.
Get those candles going
Atmosphere plays a huge part in the makings of a good dinner. If you went to a restaurant that looked and smelled like a school canteen, you wouldn't go back would you? Set those sexy vibes with some nice smelling candles. Plus, the dim flickering light hides ALL manner of cooking sins.
Decant and deliver
If all else fails and you're still like 'nope, can't even make toast', then you have one last option. M&S. I'm not joking - I think they invented half of their food hall for this exact purpose - delicious pre-made starters and mains that you can decant and pass off as your own. Get one of their impressive chorizo boards in with some flatbread and a fancy dip, then bring out the big guns and oven heat (please lord do not microwave) up a good bake. Just remember to hide the evidence before he comes in!
Girl, you got this.
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