The date coach: Why do men find it hard to approach women in a bar?

First off, I'd like to thank the person that sent in this question because it's something we're ALL thinking. Why do men find it increasingly daunting to go over to a woman and just say hello? You might have been giving him, what you thought was, some very unsubtle glances. Or, maybe you brushed past him on the way to get another drink. Nada. Nothing. Zilch. 

Is he just not picking up the hint, or is there another reason he's not coming over to chat?

1. Simply, he's got no balls

"Let's say he's in a bar and he sees a girl he finds attracted - but has absolutely no idea how to approach the situation. He doesn't know how to go over and say 'hey', or 'let's grab a drink sometime'. He's shy and not used to initiating conversation with a girl. 

2. He's scared of rejection

He's possibly used to being shot down by girls in public situations, or he's experienced it once before and it put him off trying again. Women don't always understand that this fear is a massive thing for men. If they're out with mates then they might also not want to look stupid or lose face in front of them.

3. He can't think of something to say

A lot of the time, men think: 'Shit I need a good line', and it puts them off going over. What we don't all realise is that we could just go over and say 'hi'. It's enough. They've read somewhere that women want to be impressed with some incredible one liner, but wouldn't you rather have him just say 'hey' or stand there all night doing nothing?

4. He's in a relationship

If you're wondering why he's not approaching you, it could just be that he's not interested, or he's got a wife/girlfriend. If this is the case, he'll either ignore any lingering looks he gets, or he'll be disinterested by them.

5. He doesn't want to approach a group

This one is key. A typical man will very rarely approach and initiate a conversation with a women when they're in a big group. If men are in the group, it's even LESS likely he'll go over there. "

Three ways to help him initiate conversation

1) If you see him look, but he's coming across shy, then lead it a little. You could move closer to where he's standing, and if you catch his gaze then be brave and say 'hello'. He might just need a little help starting the conversation.

2)  Degroup. If you've spotted someone who you like, then segment off from your group with a friend for a little bit. Stand closer to him or head to the bar to get a drink on your own. 

3) Be open and friendly. Even if you like a man to take charge of a situation, you can show him that you like the look of him. Men don't pick up on signals as readily as women so hold eye contact for a few seconds longer than you normally would.